scared at night sometimes

July 9^th 2008

 The electricity is off in the house tonight. All of us are sitting around some candles, passing around ipods to watch some videos and discussing what would happen if Joseph Kony was caught and killed. Would the LRA collapse or would someone else just step up into power? I read in the Monitor today that Kony’s chief negotiator in the peace talks for the LRA wrote a confidential letter to President Museveni saying that the only way Kony could be stopped is if he were killed. Since that has been published I wonder how long that man’s life will last. The longer I stay here in Gulu the harder I struggle with these issues. Living here for 6 weeks has really allowed me to take a strong look at my personality and re-evaluate what is important to me, what I value. I want to go home and make a difference; I can’t let this journey stop here. Maybe I can set up a School-4-School’s club in Wayne Hills High School. It’s one of the highest paid and funded school districts in New Jersey, I get sick thinking of how many school tuitions that could be paid with such little effort.

 Today in class I implemented one of the participatory strategies that I learned in the conference, ABC Runoff. I had heard of the activity a few nights before the conference actually, from a girl from group one who’s from Sparta. The game is perfect for classrooms with large numbers of students. I put the alphabet on the board in 2 different places. The students then had to fill in the alphabet with words that coincided with the theme that we are studying, mass media. To guarantee participation I let the teams help each other, encouraged communication and told them that they had to write one word for every letter, even if the word didn’t apply to what the theme was. When you get to X, Y and Z it’s pretty difficult, so I had words like yellow and x-mass by the end. The kids did remarkably well though, and I could feel the energy in the room. Unfortunately right after that Alice really wanted the students to read two passages from the book and answer questions. I would never question her in front of the kids, and I’m having a hard time questioning her at all since she has been very open towards me compared to some of the other teachers here, but the kids were bored to tears. I guess this whole experience is about give and take, but it was still hard to sit through. As a special ed teacher, sitting on my ass in a classroom watching kids share one textbook between four people is so hard.

 July 10^th 2008

 The water and the electricity are off in the compound. Trying to get ready in the morning is pretty difficult when you can’t really see and you are halfway through washing your face when the water decides to dry up. Thankfully I have wipes galore so I was able to manage.

 Today I’m not teaching class, but Alice is picking me up at 12 so we can plan for next week and get a head start. Casey, Matt and I are holding the professional development conference today at 2:30, which is giving me some anxiety this morning. Even traveling over an ocean can’t subside my stress when it comes to work. I may be laid back about most things, but when it comes to performing in my career I get obsessive about preparing. It’s 9:30 now, and I already have a tightening in my chest about the meeting at 2:30.

 Since I’ve been here I’ve been kind of insecure about the fact that I don’t play sports. I know it sounds ridiculous, but when it comes to team, competitive sports I just suck. I’m not competitive athletically, and if a game gets too intense I’m so quick to think, “ugh, is this really that important?” So for the past couple of days I’ve felt like the last kid picked at gym class because I suck at basketball, “football” isn’t my thing, and because of a horrible gym class experience, volleyball scares the crap out of me.

 Fortunately for me though, my dad and I are really into Frisbee, and when I go down to south jersey we usually throw one around. I need to thank my Papa so much because yesterday, I totally got my athletic moment. I bought a super Frisbee at REI before I left and I took it out for the first time yesterday. Jo and I brought it out onto the courtyard of the compound and started throwing it around, and after about a half hour we had some of the primary students playing with us along with some of the local teachers. I had SUCH a fun time, and it was exhilarating being able to run around, jump to catch the Frisbee and just get some serious exercise. Matt was like “somebody’s been practicing in Jersey” and it made me feel good, and less like a sports leper. It was also really awesome to watch the kids get used to Frisbee because most of them had never seen one before. After they got the hang of it they were throwing it so far I was really impressed, and when the Frisbee got stuck in trees they climbed those things like they were professionals.

 This weekend Amy and Catherine will be back from sending off group one, so we’re going to have a pretty busy schedule. On Friday night we’re meeting at the IC house to discuss one of our journal articles concerning colonization, and Saturday we have a meeting in the morning to discuss Pedagogy of the Oppressed. I have to admit, reading Pedagogy at home was like shoving tiny knives into my eye sockets, but I heard from some of my friends that if I read it here it would make much more sense, and be easier to put into context.  Saturday afternoon we’re going to visit Fort Patiko, which is really exciting. On my way to school in the mornings on Alice’s boda I always look out to the right and wonder what’s out there. It’s a beautiful savannah landscape with mountains in the distance. Yesterday, as if she read my mind, Alice pointed to the mountains and told me that was where Fort Patiko was. Apparently the locals think it’s very beautiful, which gets me even more excited.

 I’m going to try and get to the Internet café today after school so I can post this and answer some e-mails but we’ll see. The skies are looking formidable which means rain is probably around the corner.

 

 

its hard sometimes

July 8th 10:40am

Yesterday morning I got a chance to experience what a primary school is like in Gulu, and I think it's safe to ay that I'll never look at elementary school's the same way again. I also know for a fact that when I hear my little Pine's Lake peanuts complain about ANYTHING next school year I'm going to give them a hardcore reality check. I was able to get a picture of the classroom that I observed with all 85 six year olds in it, and I think I'm going to blow it up and put it above the board in my new classroom next year.

Alice picked me up yesterday morning around 10am so we could head over to St. Mary's and make sure we had everything prepared for our senior english class. I cut out (ripped out) newspaper articles from the Vision and the Monitor, and I had the class work in cooperative groups to dissect each article for honesty, integrity, validity, and to provide their own opinion as to how that article fit into their personal lives. The lesson went and awesome and horrible at the same time. Awesome because some of the students exceeded my expectations and really got into it. Some of the students are furious about Mugabe in Zimbabwe and the fact that nothing is being done about it by the international community. They were able to discuss the importance of international attention and the ethical responsibility of journalists to describe the truth so the world can then do something about it. On the other hand, however, I had a group of students who didn't take the assignment seriously at all, giggled the whole way through, and looked ridiculous when they sent their representative to defend their opinions with the class. 

I realize now that I came to Africa with A LOT of false impressions. I thought that school here as such a privilege that everyone strived to do their best, but in reality, school is school no matter where you go. I hold myself back from any sort of classroom management, I let ALice handle that, but I'm starting to believe very vehemently that if these students don't want to get into it, I will continue to push them anyway. I'm only here for 3 more weeks so I'm not trying to change the world overnight, and the students who don't want to achieve are in the minority, but it still infuriates me at times that I can't light a fire under their asses (metaphorically of course), to get them motivated.

Before I taught my senior 4 class though, Matt and I walked over to the primary school to meet with the headmaster and then observe a P1 class (1st grade basically). Walking up to the school we stumbled upon the headmaster caning a child, which made going into his office very uncomfortable. He was nice to us when we got in there, even though ethically it was very difficult, we kept our mouths shut and sat in on the P1 class. Primary school students react a lot differently to us than the high school kids, so it took the class a good 10 minutes before they were finally able to stop staring at us and turn their heads to the board. Some students never stopped staring though, and although I'm very used to the company of young children, even I was getting a little uncomfortable. Aside from the cultural differences though I started to really enjoy my time there. Teaching high school is strange for me because I'm not used to it, so it was nice to feel like I was home again, interacting with the little minis. A major difference, however, is that these students are used to a much different way of life, almost like survival of the fittest, or exactly like that. STudents by where I was sitting in the back of the room weren't paying attention, they were hitting each other (literally punching) and getting away with murder. The teacher was doing her best, but with 85 kids what can you do? Well, her answer to that was a teacher's helper. I had left by that point to go teach S4, but Matt stayed and told me that a P1 student would walk around the room with a stick, seek out the kids who weren't paying attention, and with the teachers permission would beat the children as he walked around the room. How's that for peer pressure? Sometimes it is extremely hard to get used to the differences here, extremely hard.

On our way back from school, Alice told me that her husband (who abuses her) is trying to come back into the picture. Not in a good way of course, but he has hired a babysitter and is trying to take her 3 little girls away from her. Not because he wants to spend time with them or because he loves them, but because he wants to have control over ALice and basically jut wants to make her life harder. She told me that in Uganda, the mother has rights to her children under the age of 7, but once at 7 the father can take them away. Alice said she'll take him to court though, and if her one daughter (who is 8) wants to stay with her, she can state that in court. I have no idea what this man's mindset can be though, because he must know that his children are terrified of him. He used to beat ALice daily in front of them, and her 3 year old has already stated outright that she will never live with him again. If she can make that decision at 3, i'm sure he made quite the awful impression upon them. ALice is afraid that he will try and kidnap them from school though, so she is going there this morning to make sure that they will not release any of her daughters into his custody. I'm meeting up with her for lunch today, so I'm sure I'll hear how that went.

I have to run soon so I'm going to check some e mails and then head out. After lunch with Alice I am going to the Invisible Children Office to shadow a mentor for the day, to check up on scholarship recipients and visit their homes to monitor their progress. I'll be back at Ma Computers later though to work on a professional development workshop that Matt, Casey and I are implementing at St. Mary's on Thursday concerning Active Participation, so I will definitely write more later..

happy 4th

Happy 4^th of July!!!!!

 Today was the international teachers conference in Gulu, and the first day that I got seriously frustrated. Discussing teaching strategies with some of the male teachers here makes me want to bang my head against a wall. I know that I’m not here to change the educational system, but I don’t understand how 5 questions at the end of a 90-minute lesson is an accurate assessment of a students performance. What happens if every student gets those questions wrong, or even one student? Then you just have to wait until the next day to try and reinforce that skill, review that skill, when you’re just starting at the beginning anyway. Teachers here don’t usually stay in the room when the students are answering those questions.  One teacher at ST. Mary’s, William, is so stuck in a rut that I don’t know how his students retain anything. He actually said today that the best way for the students to learn is to sit and take notes. They even have a phrase for it, “talk and chalk”. I guess I should have been prepared for this as soon as I saw the textbook, When there are sentences that discuss a good wife being someone who cooks a better meal for her husband than a sister wife in the English text, something is a little off. I guess the more time I spend here, the harder it is for me to grasp the cultural differences that hinder a classroom. I suppose it should be getting easier, but the more time I spend in the classroom the more good I want to do, but I feel like I’m being restricted by something larger than me, or my students, it’s culture.

During the conference we heard a lecture from an educator from Kampala, and Iit seemed as if the Northern Ugandan teachers too the opportunity to vent their frustration with the government’s educational policies. I felt bad for the speaker, because he didn’t represent the government at all, they were actually invited and did not come, but the N.U. teachers went nuts. They complained that they are underpaid, and have no say in the educational policy that the ministry administers, and I could really relate to that. It was good for me to hear them complain too, because up until that point in the conference, I was getting so frustrated with the male teachers that I shut down. I just stopped suggesting anything because I’m at a huge disadvantage. I look at everything from a special ed perspective, and I’m part of the new generation of teachers in New jersey that have been lucky enough to have modern, up to date courses on the teaching methods that have been proven by research to be the most effective. Listening to the teachers discuss their problems here, however, allowed me to jump off of my high horse for a second and see where they were coming from. In Uganda, when you take your high school exit exams, they literally give you a choice of occupations that you can choose form based on your scores. Some of these teachers didn’t even want to be educators, but going to school to be a doctor a lawyer is very expensive, and maybe their scores didn’t qualify them to be a doctor or a lawyer. It really did a lot for me in understanding why I see the apathetic attitudes of some of these teachers. It reminded me of one of my favorite novels, Anthem by Ayn Rand.  Teachers here are stretched very thin and paid very little with no health insurance, which didn’t justify, but gave me more insight into why I am seeing some of the frustrating practices that I am seeing. The other day at St. Mary’s, I saw a student walk up to a teacher for help, and they said, “I’m reading the paper now, come to me later.” I almost fell out of my chair. In the states, a teacher becomes a teacher because they are passionate about their career, because they want to help students. It took me almost all day today (of being totally pissed), to realize that there are good teachers and bad teachers everywhere… I’m starting to feel like the honeymoon stage is over for me, even if I still love this place more than any other place I have ever visited. The gratitude that I feel here is touching. When I took a boda home tonight, the driver asked me where I lived, and when I told him I was a teacher staying at Lacor he thanked me for coming to Uganda, a man that I had never seen before. He was sincerely thankful that I made the trip. He said, “thank you for coming here to help.” You wont hear that from a taxi driver in NYC.

 Here, the teachers feel like the government has too much say in curriculum without considering the teachers who are implementing that policy. I think an exact quote was, “policy makers don’t consider policy implementers on the ground.” I respect that because it happens at home too. AT the Craig School I would get frustrated sometimes because I feel as if we were asked a lot from a director that had been out of the classroom for so long, she wasn’t connected with classroom policy and practice. She was a genius when it came to diagnosing and treating learning disabilities, but when it came to everyday classroom practice she was very disconnected, which made my job difficult. (although now I have a totally new definition of the word “difficult”)

 I consider myself so lucky to be paired with Alice. She is so open and so willing to let me experiment with the kids and get them out of their seats. She sits and laughs when I dance around the room and get silly with the kids, and I honestly feel like we are learning from each other. She has spunk, and I see a lot of myself in her. For example, she left her husband three weeks ago because he drank and abused her, and today she was wearing a teeshirt that said, “Be a Man, Caring, Faithful, Non-Violent, Respectful.” She made her way through teachers college with three babies, and speaks the best English that I have heard here from an Acholi person.

 I was exhausted after the conference, but Jo, Casey and I managed to walk to town before heading home to get some essentials. I found a store that has sliced bread, Nutella and peanut butter, so I picked some up to have when I didn’t feel like eating dirt rice, something I’ve grown very accustomed to. Every bite of rice I take has bits of dirt in it so I don’t think I’ll ever eat rice the same way again. Now I just wolf it down as quick as possible, trying not to bite down.

 I had a soldier run after me with a rifle today in the market, which was pretty scary. I was walking in to grab mini bananas for my nutella and peanuter sandwhich idea when I heard “muzungu, muzungu!”, I just thought it was another person screaming at me because I’m white, something that I’ve gotten very used to, but apparently it was a soldier screaming at me to leave the market because it was closed. Yeah, they run after you with a rifle if you’re in the market after it closes. I don’t think I’ll forget that rule now.

 Back at the compound was very fun tonight, I think much needed after a frustrating, stressful, and exhilarating day. I learned how to play Kipps, and Jo was the best partner ever. I can’t wait to visit her in San Diego and get some legit burritos. From what the Cali kids have been telling me I have been missing out on some serious Mexican food.

 Tomorrow is day 2 of the conference, and hopefully it will be a little more encouraging than it was today.

boda boda

Blog 9 July 3^rd 2008

 Yesterday after school I came home exhausted. School days are run very differently here, and I find that making the most of my tine is one of the most important things I will learn here. At the end of the day Steven asked me if I had a “football”, and I needed to get newspapers for our honesty in the media discussion anyway, so I figured I would head into town. When I got home at first though, I couldn’t move. The long days, being at school from 8 to 4 in the heat, and the crazy bumpy boda rides really tire me out. I took 15 minutes and passed out on our couch and waited for someone to come home to take the ride in with me.

 Wendy, one of the girls that I haven’t gotten a chance to know to well, came home and said she needed to go, and a lot of the other girls were craving chocolate, so we took a boda into town to pick up some stuff. I was excited because it was my first time riding into town for 1,000 shillings, they’ve been making my mulu butt pay 1,500 since yesterday, maybe that was my initiation. The feeling I have when I’m riding on a boda is pretty hard to describe. I can’t take the smile off of my face, and the exhilaration that runs through my body is so intense. There’s nothing like near death on a bumpy boda ride to make you really feel alive.

 I was able to find 2 newspapers in town for my lesson, the Monitor and the Vision. The Monitor I independent and the Vision is government run, so looking at the same news stories in each publication is interesting, because the stories are usually told 2 different ways. For example, the UPDF (Ugandan People’s Defense Force) was accused of killing and kidnapping two people in South Sudan yesterday, but the Vision put out an article accusing the LRA of the crime. It really makes me question both organizations and the media in general. Over here, it seems really easy for one organization to point the blame at another, and no one really knows who was at fault. I’m also getting very accustomed to not trusting the military. Growing up with a police officer for a father (and a wonderful man at that), it was very easy for me to grow up trusting the police and the military. I’ve come out of that as I’ve grown older, and I realize that not everyone in a uniform has the same integrity that my father has. This trip has most definitely reinforced my suspicious perspective.

 Yesterday was Amy’s birthday, and we invited the Invisible Children house to come over to our neck of Gulu and have a birthday party celebration. I don’t think I’ve ever had more fun at someone else’s birthday party in my entire life. It started with just our house and Ben, who walked over from the IC house early. We grabbed wine and beers and vodka from town, grabbed a birthday cake, and waited for Amy to arrive as the rest of the IC house trickled in from down the road. Amy went to the Acholi Inn with the members of group one for dinner and swimming and a manicure, so she didn’t arrive until about 9. Group one is unique because they are almost all theater majors from NYU, so their arrival with Amy was absolutely spectacular. I was sitting outside of the dorm by myself, drinking a beer and getting some air when I heard a truck rumbling down the road. Immediately after I heard singing, and then I saw all of group one, Amy, Jaimie and John totally decked out in outfits they made from the same material in town. They were singing the whole way in which definitely caused a commotion on campus. Little heads were popping out of buildings all over the compound. When they arrived they jumped out of the truck and preformed a little skit with music for Amy’s birthday, which was so funny! Nothing spells out a good time like a bunch of theater majors. After that we poured some beers and some drinks and had another super crazy dance party. I’m going to go home and have to convince Kristen to dance with me around the apartment because I’m going to miss dancing my ass off so much. We plugged Ashleigh’s Ipod into a dock and just completely let go. Amy is one of the most genuine and sincere people I have ever met, I can honestly say that it was a pleasure celebrating her birthday with her.

 I’m going to make a special trip to REI when I get back to thank the man that works there for convincing me to buy a head lamp, because a couple tipsy trips to the latrine on the compound in the middle of the night was definitely made easier by having a light on my head.

 Needless to say, our crazy dance party made it a little hard to wake up this morning, especially because it started to pour around 5am. For one horrible second, when I heard the rain, I forgot why I was here and was excited at the prospect of staying in bed. Sometimes when it rains here the roads get so bad that it is impossible to get to school. I got past my western princess attitude pretty quickly however, dragged myself out of bed, threw on crocs and a raincoat and made my way to the road. Alice and I took a wet boda ride to school and attacked the day. I saw some of the

 Teaching is so different here because sometimes it’s like going to war. I feel like it’s so crucial for me to be at the top of my game here, to give my students and my teacher the best of everything I can give.

 Last night before we went to bed we all did something called “high/low” where we all spoke about the high point of our day and the lowest. Today definitely had it’s highs and lows, although I felt like as a whole, it went really well.

 I had S3 first today, and I was excited because it was my first time speaking in that class. It took them a second or two to get used to my accent, and to have a white woman in front of the room, but their sense of humor as a class was really hysterical. I was able to be funny and over the top and they ate it up. I gave myself a crash course on relative clauses this morning, and really felt like they were understanding what I was getting across. I broke them up into cooperative groups, sent students to the board for competitions, and generally tried to make it fun. It’s hard to get excited about school when it’s a down pour outside, and I was really impressed with their ability to push through. 

mac lunch

Blog 7 July 2^nd 2008

 

I can’t believe that I’m only a half-day behind in my journaling and I feel like I have to catch up on so much! I guess I’ll start with yesterday afternoon and the nighttime.

 

After I met up with Kyle and Sarah for lunch at Mac Café, they went back to their classes at school and I headed off to the market to brave it alone. I was actually really productive and proud of myself. I walked with purpose like Amy told us to, and I managed to pick up a bundle of sweet bananas and 3 avocados with no problem. The woman at the avocado stand actually picked out 2 ripe ones for me, and gave me a third for free. The food here is great some times, bearable other times, and unrecognizable sometimes too, so it’s great to have some extra snacks around in times of need. After my little adventure I hopped on a boda and came back to the convent, stripped down to my underwear and laid down in the empty dorm with my fan and my ipod. I’ve been watching parts of the Tin Man while I’ve had some down time, and I really like it. I’m not  a sci fi chick but I really like the way the film was made. I only had about 10 minutes of alone time though, because Ashleigh and Sarah came back not too long after to get ready for a run.  They didn’t even get a chance to go, however, because for th first time since we’ve been here it RAINED! It was the craziest hour of rain that I’ve ever seen. It came down in sheets, so hard that an umbrella would be completely useless. I took a video of us crazy munu’s running out into it, we were so excited to get rid of some of the dust.

 

Sister Appelonia invited us to an Acholi wedding reception, and although some us didn’t want to go because we were tired, most of us sucked it up and went anyway. Everyone who went decided that an Acholi wedding doesn’t come around everyday, so we seized the opportunity. I have to say I’m so glad we went. It was at Diana Gardens, the buffet restaurant. We sat and ate and then went into the party for some CRAZY dancing. Those ladies seriously know how to get down and have a good time. Casey and I planned ahead, and bought some Fantas at the bar to bring back to the convent with us. Here in Gulu, if you want to take a soda with you, you have to pay extra because they save all of the glass bottles. They reuse them too, so drinking out of a straw is key, although that’s not always possible. I haven’t gotten sick yet though, and I’ve drunk out of some bottles and brushed my teeth with the water, although I spit it right out. I’ll probably jinx myself while I’m typing this, but a mosquito hasn’t bitten me yet.  One of the girls from group one at the IC house actually contracted malaria, even though she was on the pills, and she said she wanted to die for 2 days. The latrine at our school is pretty scary too, when you open the door the walls almost look black because they’re covered with mosquitos. Imagine squatting down over a hole swatting your hands over your ass because you forgot to bug spray your cheeks, definitely an experience.

 

Today was my first day of actual teaching, and I had S1, S2 and S4. Ironically enough S4 is my favorite, I think because we’re discussing honesty in the media, and I’ve been able to bring current events into the mix and talk to them about things like Mugabe and Obama. One student was very outspoken in class, Steven, and I’m really looking forward to picking hisbrain while I’m here. From the first day I picked him out as the “leader” of his class, and I was surprised when he sat captivated during my media talk. Their book spoke about not letting your opinions get in the way of your comprehension when reading newspaper articles, and I was able to speak to them about 9-11, and the effect it had on people in my area and their world perspective. I learned that they have 2 newspapers here, one that is independent and one that is government run. I’m bringing both into class tomorrow so the students can analyze them. They all agreed that if Zimbabwe had a government run newspaper that the world may not know about the illegitimate elections there.

 

In the beginning of each of my classes I told the students that their first assignment was to understand my accent, and to tell me immediately if I talk too fast. I explained to them that in the United States, people in New Jersey probably talk the fastest, and that even my father tells me I speak too quickly, so they have to let me know. One student immediately raised his hand and asked me to slow down, which was pretty funny.

 

The students have testing next week so I’m not sure exactly what I’ll be doing. I plan on visiting St. Jude’s again if I can, but I’m not sure if I’ll get the chance.

 

 

personal day

July 1st 1:35pm

This morning I slept in a little it, and woke up around 7:45. It’s hard here to sleep any later than that because everyone is up and getting ready for school in the morning. I felt super relaxed because I didn’t have school today, and the thought of going out and exploring town was pretty awesome.

Matt and I grabbed some boda’s outside of the compound and headed to Caltex this morning so Matt could break some change, then we headed over to Ma computers (where I’m at right now). It was nice to be able to sit down relaxed and type up some lesson plans. Tomorrow I have S1, S2 and S4, so I wanted to type up the plans Alice and I discussed yesterday. At the end of my stay in Gulu I’m going to give Alice a portfolio of all of the work we did together so she’ll have a reference to work with while I’m home.

S1 is learning reading comprehension right now, but they’re also identifying pronouns, infinitives and verbs in sentences. It’s kind of crazy for me to be teaching high school English, and not elementary, because I had to give myself a crash course on grammar this morning. It’s funny, because when I was learning French in school I had a very difficult time with all of the technical terms, but could speak great because we spoke French at home. I’d like to explain to the students that 90% of Americans have no idea what an infinitive is anyway, but I don’t know how well that would go over.

I’m stoked because in senior English we’re discussing the importance of honest, non-biased journalism, so I’ll have a chance to break out my time magazine and talk about the US elections and also about Mugabe in Zimbabwe. There’s one student, Steven, in that class, and he definitely runs the show. He literally answered 97% of the questions in class yesterday, something that would never be allowed in the US, or at least shouldn’t be. I’m looking forward to picking his brain, but also trying to draw some of the other students into the conversations as well.
After Ma computers Matt and I parted ways because he had class, so I walked around town alone for a little bit. I wasn’t sure where I was going or what I was looking for, so I wandered around with my Ipod on and checked out the sites. I found a post office, so all I need to do now is find a postcard place and I’ll be set to send some home.

I ran into Sarah and Kyle while I was wandering around (my saviors), and we headed over to the Mac Café for some lunch. I’ve been eating avocados over here like I drink redbull in the states, and today was no different. I had the avocado vinaigrette salad and it was delicious. I’m back at Ma computers now because I headed over with Kyle and Sarah, but they have school after this so I’ll be on my own again. I want to go to the market to get some fresh fruit and avocados that I can eat at home. The market is a little intimidating though, I have to admit. My knowledge of the language is very limited, so like always I try my best and hope it works out.

After today I don’t think I’ll be able to get to a computer until the weekend, so if you’re reading and if you aren’t bored to tears, I’ll have a bundle of blogs next time I log on.

First day of school

June 30^th 9:10pm

 

Today was my first whole day at St. Mary’s, and the morning definitely got off to an interesting start. Last night I fell asleep to one of the movies I downloaded onto my ipod for the trip, the Tin Man. I was expecting it to be pretty bad, especially because the evil witch is Clair from 90210, but I really enjoyed it. Sometime during the night, however, I tried turning my watch light on and I changed the time zone instead. Ashleigh woke me up this morning at 7am when I anted to wake up at 6:15, but at least I didn’t sleep through the start of school. I bolted out of bed and got ready really quick, and Matt and I walked out of the compound to the road to wait for Alice. Just like I thought would happen Alice went to a different entrance than I was at, so I had to make an executive decision to boda over to Saint Mary’s at 8:15 because by that time I was worried about being late. I arrived at Saint Mary’s just as the head mistress/head sister was giving the morning announcement to the school. It was funny because as I pulled up I didn’t see anyone, and I started to worry that something had happened, when I turned around the corner and came face to face with the entire school. I gave a little impromptu speech after Sister asked me to, and kind of smiled when I heard the kids giggling at my accent. It’s pretty weird for me as an elementary teacher, because some of my seniors are as old as 23 because for whatever reason, being a child soldier or what have you, they had to come to school late.

 

It took me about 5 minutes to get comfortable once I was in the classroom, and I realized that showing no fear is the best way to handle high school. I would have fallen asleep if I just sat there and observed so I walked around and checked out the textbooks and what the students were writing. St. Mary’s is fairly small for Gulu, so my biggest class only has about 60 kids, unlike some classes at Gulu SS that have close to 250.  I think the kids were freaked out at first that I was there, and I was a bit of a distraction, but they got used to me. I felt like it was a really long day, even though the periods went by very quickly. On our off time Alice and I marked a lot of papers and planned for Wednesday, and tomorrow on my day off I’m going to go to the internet café to type everything up and get prepared. I don’t have too much to say about the day because I spent most of it watching, but I can say that the Latrine was super scary. Mosquito’s carry malaria here, so when I entered the latrine and saw a whole village of them I was a little scared. It’s a surreal experience to squat down over a hole to pee while swatting violently at bugs, thank god I pee quick! Another cultural difference that I have come across is that teachers don’t go to the bathroom at all during class. At the Craig School, if I had to use the bathroom it was about 20 feet away so a quick trip did no harm. Here, if teachers leave to use the latrine the kids think it is hysterical and laugh at you. Good thing I was informed of that before I tried, or else I would have had a pretty uncomfortable first day.

 

I was very exhausted after school, and a little cranky from being in the heat for so long. When I got back to the compound and heard that Bri and Kyle were heading into town I was all about it. Cold fanta was calling me from the gas station, so Bri and I doubled up on a boda and followed Kyle over to Caltex. We also went to Ma Computers and I was able to send out an e mail or two and update this blog. Tuesdays are my free day, and I’m thinking about making them personal days to unwind and spend some time alone. Tomorrow for example, I’m going to go into town early with Matt, but he has class at 12 so I’ll be able to have some company in the morning and then spend some much-needed time alone.  There are 11 of us staying at Christ the King, with two girls rooms and a guys room and a living area in the middle, so we’re pretty much on top of each other at night. I’m starting to get a little antsy about it, especially because I’m so used to just me and Kristen that some “me” time would be great. It’s hard to go from one roommate to 11, especially when all of us are so different. Don’t get me wrong though, I have met some incredible people that I know I will have lasting friendships with.

 

I had an awesome conversation with Jo yesterday about religion and God, and day-by-day I think I’m learning more about my spirituality. I love helping other people, and trying to see things from the point of view of the person concerned. I think I like to live my life according to some Christian values; I just don’t have any room in my life for the belief in a higher power. I would love to believe in God, but I don’t, and I would love to go to church, but I don’t believe in God, so where does that put me? I feel like since high school, after I realized Catholicism wasn’t for me, I have been looking for my spiritual place in the world, or maybe just a group of people that I could relate to on a level like that. As ironic as it may be, the only outlet I feel like I can relate to in that way is this man I’ve seen on television, Joel Osteen. It’s ironic because he’s an evangelical minister, and I’m pretty much an atheist, but I really respect and take comfort in some of the things he has to say. He obviously believes in God, so it’s not a perfect fit, but I don’t feel like his sermons are God centered, I feel like they are compassion centered. Maybe I can connect to the world spiritually through humanitarian work, and fill the void that way.. but on the other hand that would make my work selfish. I’ve been thinking about that a lot since I’ve been here, humanitarianism at what cost. The Christian organizations that come here do wonderful work, but their primary goal is to be saved, so doesn’t that make them selfish? I’m going through a whole lot of soul searching here as I’m sure you can read, hopefully by the time I’m about to bungee jump into the Nile I’ll have some answers for myself..